Let's start with the good news: my husband Brian and I are having another baby! In August, our daughter, Sunny, will be a big sister. We're all so excited.

 

 

But it's important to me that people don't just see celebratory pregnancy posts because often, as is the case with me, there is so much more to the story. It's not pretty, it's quite hard and emotional, but it's something so many women (and men) go through in silence. Miscarriages. Fertility treatments. The spectrum of complications, and the science to help mitigate them, is vast.

When I first announced I was pregnant with Sunny, I spoke about our road to get there -- including multiple miscarriages and fertility treatments -- and was flooded with responses and stories from viewers, readers, colleagues, and friends.

So I didn't think twice about sharing our story again when, unfortunately, we had a similar experience this go-round. I shared some of the details on Instagram:

 

 

Yes, this is another IVF baby. We first transferred an embryo from Sunny's batch last February. One year ago. I was pregnant... then 8 weeks later I wasn't. Another transfer a few months later... another pregnancy... and another miscarriage. I wish I could say that having Sunny made this any easier, but the truth is it felt worse in some ways — because I knew how wonderful a baby could be. And then came the guilt. Not being able to give her the sibling I so badly wanted her to have. How could I possibly look at her and think she wasn’t enough? I felt greedy wanting more. It’s all very emotional and complicated and yes, I am thrilled and relieved to be almost 16 weeks pregnant now. It took another full retrieval cycle this fall because of course this baby wanted to be from its own batch. It wanted its own story. SO. Why am I telling you all of this? Because we all need to take a beat and think about how we relentlessly ask women about having (more) children — or worse, asking them if they're pregnant. (Please, don't do this.) But mostly because if you're someone struggling to get or stay pregnant know that you are not alone. I’ve been so touched that so many of you have reached out and trusted me with your very personal struggles. I really hope that you continue to do so. It helps to talk about it. I've made some really wonderful friends and have gotten closer with other friends of mine who have been through similar experiences. There is strength in numbers! And that's true for families and for little corners of the world like this one where we talk about this stuff. I’m proud of my science babies but understand if you don't wanna comment publicly; my DMs are open and I try to respond to every single one. In the meantime I will remind you of what Brian Stelter has always told me. That one day or another, one way or another, we will have that baby, that family, we've always wanted.