It's heartbreaking, painful and confusing to lose a child to gun violence.

“I will kneel down and I will talk with him," said Eve Hendricks while on her knees.

Her Bronx apartment in the Morrisania neighborhood is full of pictures and life-size cutouts of her son, Brandon Hendricks. The teen was shot and killed in July.

“Soon as I come in, I greet my Boobie right here. Tell him about my day, tell him hi, hello and tell him what the weather is like,” Hendricks explained while looking at one of the cutouts in the living room.

Each day she presses on with the reality she’ll never see her son again, whom she called Boobie.

While walking into her son's bedroom, she knocks on the door.

She has blankets with his pictures on the bed, photos on the wall and an alter with some of pictures and a his bible.  

“So I will come in here and I will sit and I will look at him here.”

The 17-year-old basketball standout had just graduated from James Monroe High School and was about turn 18. Detectives say 22-year-old Najhim Luke fired a gun into a crowd and Hendricks was an innocent victim.

The shooting was part of a surge in gun violence that began in the spring and has not abated.

Police commissioner Dermot Shea said 2020 will go down in the books as having the most shootings in the city in 14 years.

“My son did everything right. Every day you wake up, so many kids are being killed, so many people for no reason,” said a tearful Eve Hendricks.

Many people described her son as handsome, talented, smart and caring.  He was looking forward to playing basketball in college. His mother now deals with serious bouts of depression and anxiety.

“I found this bible in his room," she explained.  Several passages were highlighted by her son.  "Every scripture that is marked is about the kingdom of heaven. So I know my son is in a good place, but where does it leave me. I said to him, I said Boobie please leave the gates of heaven open for me. Remember my eyes, please just remember my eyes.”

“Each night I go to bed I feel like this is it because I want to be with my son," she added.

Despite support from family and friends, she feels alone and sad. And with the holiday season here, it is even more difficult.

But, looking a tattoo on her arm of her Boobie, she’s reminded of the joy he brought her and others.

“He’s not just in my heart, he’s inside and outside. I’m proud of him, very proud of my son.”

She hopes his story can encourage people to be the best they can be while persuading others to put down the guns.